Why? That is one of the questions I often find myself wondering. Why do bad things happen? Why did I lose both of my brothers? Why is life so challenging sometimes? Why is life unfair? The list is endless. I have discovered, as many have already learned, that there aren't really any answers to these questions. And you can drive yourself crazy trying to find one.
But there is an answer to one "why" question: Why am I speaking out now about my experiences? Talking about the losses I have endured has never been easy for me. As a child, I rarely--if ever--spoke about my lost brother. As I learned more about myself, I shared more with others--but not much. I always had, in the back of my mind, the goal of writing something to help people in the same metaphorical boat. I wanted to do this not so much because I felt I was an expert or anything, just that I had been through tough times and could share my feelings and thoughts. When I feel upset, it helps to talk to another person who has been there, done that. I figured one day I would do it, but I think my difficulty in expressing my emotions held me back from attaining this goal. However, losing my remaining brother 6 years ago motivated me to finally stop my procrastination. Even if my insights were meaningless to others (and I hoped they weren't!) I had to let out my thoughts for my own piece of mind. I needed to finally process the traumatic events of my life, and this was a way to do so. If I can help anyone else even a little bit, there is icing on the cake. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the opportunity to continue on the healing process.
